I met this guy at a bar awhile back and ended up giving him my phone number. Sure I probably wasn't in the best state of mind and sure I had met him at Tavern, which should have been a sign to steer clear, but nonetheless I gave him my number anyway. The next day over breakfast, my friends and I were recapping the events of the night when one of my friends admitted to taking pictures of the two of us when we were talking. We all reviewed the pictures and decided that this guy was pretty cute so they all encouraged me to go on a date with him if he called. Later that day he texted me and eventually we became friends on facebook. Later, when he called, I went into my room to talk to him privately. This guy was a weirdo I could just tell. I came out and told my friends and they sad they thought so too due to the stalking they had done of him on his facebook page. (This is what true friends do for you lol.) But regardless they told me to go on a date with him anyways and give him a chance. If nothing else it was a free meal...
So that Tuesday we made plans to go to sushi at a place near my house. The whole day I was dreading the date because A. first dates are awkward and B. I was pretty sure the guy was a weirdo. But my friends kept telling me to go anyways and that at the very least I would get a free dinner. About 30 minutes before we were supposed to go, he texted me telling me there was something wrong with his debit card. (WTF?) I asked him if he wanted to reschedule because at this point I was only in it for the free food and wasn't about to offer to pay instead. He said he would just get cash out and would be at my house soon. Awkward? I think so.
He called me to let me know he was outside and, after my roommate tried to follow me out to spy on him, I met him on the street. He was wearing a bright red T-shirt, jeans, and hiking boots... Now, I know I live in a beach town and the dress is very casual, but for a first date, don't you think you should try a little harder? Especially if you are 28 years old? Well, we started walking the block and a half toward the restaurant and things progressively got worse. The first conversation we had was about how he had gotten his last unemployment check earlier that day. I'm not saying that receiving unemployment is bad, we are in a horrible economy right now and times are tough. But is that really the first thing you should bring up on a first date? I think not.
Next his cell phone rang. Now before I continue I'd like to point out that I had silenced my phone and put it in my purse as one should do on a date. But he decided to answer the call anyways even though he told me he didn't recognize the number. After answering, he told me it was his mom. Why he didn't know his mom's number is beyond me but I decided not to ask questions. The conversation went a little something like this:
"Oh we're just hanging out... Actually mom, I got into a horrible car accident and both my legs are broken. I'm in the hospital now. Here talk to the nurse!"
He then proceeded to hand me the phone! I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOUR MOM!! I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU!! But I was polite and took the phone. I assured his mom they he was fine and that we were just going to dinner and then handed him back the phone. He talked to his mom all the way up until the waitress seated us at our table. Rude.
Normally on a sushi date I let the guy order and we share. So, for some reason, I decided to let him do the same. He told me he was just going to pick at random when the waitress came over and set down the menu. After choosing four random rolls and ordering a water for me and a soda for him, we started talking. Everything out of this guys mouth was sarcastic. Don't you have anything serious to talk about? You are 28 after all. He told me about how he loved to do Jackass pranks and at one time even told he was was laughing at me! Not with me, at me. When the food came he continued to talk about Jackass and everything else that didn't interest me with a mouth full of food. He made fun of me for chewing with my mouth closed and having manners but I assured him it wasn't just an act but rather just the way I was raised. You know, by humans, not a pack of wild animals...
After 30 minutes of uncomfortable conversation and watching him inhale three of the four rolls we had gotten, we asked for the check. As I mentioned, I do have manners and always offer to pay for at least my portion. So when the check came I pulled out my wallet.
"Oh no you don't have to do that" he told me.
"Are you sure?"
"Well I mean if you want to..."
OMG was this guy for real?! At this point I was sure I had been set up and was on some hidden camera show. I looked around for friends laughing at me or a camera crew as I pulled out my debit card. Nothing. This was actually happening. He had already put his wallet away without even offering to pay for half. But, when he looked at the bill and saw that is was $45, he told me he couldn't let me pay for the whole thing. (Uh ya think?) He put down a $20. Just in case you had forgotten, he had eaten 3 rolls and had a soda. I had one roll and a water. $20 isn't even half of the bill and he clearly should have been paying more. But whatever, I guess it's my fault for offering. I paid and left a tip and we headed home. When we got to my house ,I gave him an awkward "ass-out" hug and ran up the stairs.
He texted me that night and again the next morning. He also tried to contact me through facebook until I deleted him as a friend. When he started asking what he had done wrong a few days later, I contemplated listing them all but figured it was nicer to just stay quiet. He asked me out again later in the week but eventually stopped calling. If you are reading this now, here is your explanation for why we will not be having a second date.
Now for most of you, I sincerely hope that it is common knowledge to not do all the things he did. And if this was a setup by one of you then touché my friend, touché. But if you thought that maybe some of these things were not so bad, you are sorely mistaken and should learn from this guys mistakes. First dates are always awkward but they do not have to be as painful as this one was for me. I wish you all luck in your future dating endeavors.
Until next time with Random Thoughts From the Shower, this is KRS signing off :)
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