Tips for men on dating... What NOT to do

I am not very experienced in the area of dating. This is not to say that I don't date, but just that those awkward first dates with someone you don't know at all are things I try to avoid for the most part. However, I did experience one of these such dates recently and the night reassured me that they are not something I ever wish to partake in. After sharing my story with friends and family, my step mom suggested that I share my story with all of you. Although I know it is very comical, I suggest that you avoid doing what this guy did when attempting a first date with someone so that you might be more successful than he was.

I met this guy at a bar awhile back and ended up giving him my phone number. Sure I probably wasn't in the best state of mind and sure I had met him at Tavern, which should have been a sign to steer clear, but nonetheless I gave him my number anyway. The next day over breakfast, my friends and I were recapping the events of the night when one of my friends admitted to taking pictures of the two of us when we were talking. We all reviewed the pictures and decided that this guy was pretty cute so they all encouraged me to go on a date with him if he called. Later that day he texted me and eventually we became friends on facebook. Later, when he called, I went into my room to talk to him privately. This guy was a weirdo I could just tell. I came out and told my friends and they sad they thought so too due to the stalking they had done of him on his facebook page. (This is what true friends do for you lol.) But regardless they told me to go on a date with him anyways and give him a chance. If nothing else it was a free meal...

So that Tuesday we made plans to go to sushi at a place near my house. The whole day I was dreading the date because A. first dates are awkward and B. I was pretty sure the guy was a weirdo. But my friends kept telling me to go anyways and that at the very least I would get a free dinner. About 30 minutes before we were supposed to go, he texted me telling me there was something wrong with his debit card. (WTF?) I asked him if he wanted to reschedule because at this point I was only in it for the free food and wasn't about to offer to pay instead. He said he would just get cash out and would be at my house soon. Awkward? I think so.

He called me to let me know he was outside and, after my roommate tried to follow me out to spy on him, I met him on the street. He was wearing a bright red T-shirt, jeans, and hiking boots... Now, I know I live in a beach town and the dress is very casual, but for a first date, don't you think you should try a little harder? Especially if you are 28 years old? Well, we started walking the block and a half toward the restaurant and things progressively got worse. The first conversation we had was about how he had gotten his last unemployment check earlier that day. I'm not saying that receiving unemployment is bad, we are in a horrible economy right now and times are tough. But is that really the first thing you should bring up on a first date? I think not.

Next his cell phone rang. Now before I continue I'd like to point out that I had silenced my phone and put it in my purse as one should do on a date. But he decided to answer the call anyways even though he told me he didn't recognize the number. After answering, he told me it was his mom. Why he didn't know his mom's number is beyond me but I decided not to ask questions. The conversation went a little something like this:

"Oh we're just hanging out... Actually mom, I got into a horrible car accident and both my legs are broken. I'm in the hospital now. Here talk to the nurse!"

He then proceeded to hand me the phone! I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOUR MOM!! I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU!! But I was polite and took the phone. I assured his mom they he was fine and that we were just going to dinner and then handed him back the phone. He talked to his mom all the way up until the waitress seated us at our table. Rude.

Normally on a sushi date I let the guy order and we share. So, for some reason, I decided to let him do the same. He told me he was just going to pick at random when the waitress came over and set down the menu. After choosing four random rolls and ordering a water for me and a soda for him, we started talking. Everything out of this guys mouth was sarcastic. Don't you have anything serious to talk about? You are 28 after all. He told me about how he loved to do Jackass pranks and at one time even told he was was laughing at me! Not with me, at me. When the food came he continued to talk about Jackass and everything else that didn't interest me with a mouth full of food. He made fun of me for chewing with my mouth closed and having manners but I assured him it wasn't just an act but rather just the way I was raised. You know, by humans, not a pack of wild animals...

After 30 minutes of uncomfortable conversation and watching him inhale three of the four rolls we had gotten, we asked for the check. As I mentioned, I do have manners and always offer to pay for at least my portion. So when the check came I pulled out my wallet.

"Oh no you don't have to do that" he told me.

"Are you sure?"

"Well I mean if you want to..."

OMG was this guy for real?! At this point I was sure I had been set up and was on some hidden camera show. I looked around for friends laughing at me or a camera crew as I pulled out my debit card. Nothing. This was actually happening. He had already put his wallet away without even offering to pay for half. But, when he looked at the bill and saw that is was $45, he told me he couldn't let me pay for the whole thing. (Uh ya think?) He put down a $20. Just in case you had forgotten, he had eaten 3 rolls and had a soda. I had one roll and a water. $20 isn't even half of the bill and he clearly should have been paying more. But whatever, I guess it's my fault for offering. I paid and left a tip and we headed home. When we got to my house ,I gave him an awkward "ass-out" hug and ran up the stairs.

He texted me that night and again the next morning. He also tried to contact me through facebook until I deleted him as a friend. When he started asking what he had done wrong a few days later, I contemplated listing them all but figured it was nicer to just stay quiet. He asked me out again later in the week but eventually stopped calling. If you are reading this now, here is your explanation for why we will not be having a second date.

Now for most of you, I sincerely hope that it is common knowledge to not do all the things he did. And if this was a setup by one of you then touché my friend, touché. But if you thought that maybe some of these things were not so bad, you are sorely mistaken and should learn from this guys mistakes. First dates are always awkward but they do not have to be as painful as this one was for me. I wish you all luck in your future dating endeavors.

Until next time with Random Thoughts From the Shower, this is KRS signing off :)

If you're not looking up, you're looking down

I came up with the idea for this entry a few days ago but didn't want to write it until I had a catchy title. While checking my Facebook for the millionth time today (I'm up North cat sitting and I'm REALLY really bored) I saw a status with this phrase and decided to use it. So here is where I give credit to Kris for my catchy headline. Thank you!! lol

Oh and yes, you read that right. I am cat sitting. My parents recently adopted 2 kittens and wanted to go on vacation for the long weekend. They can't leave the kittens alone because A. they will tear up the house and B. their other cat will probably try to kill them. (He's not happy to be sharing his home with new comers.) They were going to have to pay someone to stay at the house and watch them, so, being the wonderful daughter that I am, I passed up on a crazy Labor Day weekend with my friends to come up North and help them out. How amazing am I?? O:)

But anyways, enough small talk. On to my original topic: Looking up. Now this may seem odd to most as gazing at the ceiling isn't something people normally do. They look down towards the ground where they are walking and they look others in the eye when they are talking to them, but looking up is mostly a direction reserved for children and day dreamers. Recently, however, I have taken to glancing in this direction while inside buildings I frequent often. There can be a lot of interesting things up there!! Restaurants decorate their higher regions with random clutter and old paraphernalia. Fancy housing complexes may be hiding their flaws and unfinished work just above your head. The other day I discovered a giant nest at the top of a tree in my childhood backyard. That could have been up there for ages and I would never have noticed had I not decided to start gazing toward the stars. As soon as I started realizing I might be missing out on a third of the world around me, I started looking up even more. Now, there are very few places I will go that I do not inspect from ceiling to floor, and in that order too. Maybe that places me in the category with children and dreamers, and if that is the case so be it. But if children and dreamers are the only ones who get to experience this view, then that is the group I wish to be apart of.   

As children we are told to reach for the stars in regards to our future, but today I urge you to just glance in their direction from time to time. Who knows, you may spot something worth noting.

Until next time with more Random Thoughts From the Shower, this is KRS signing off J

Do as I say, not as I do

So originally I was thinking that I would name this blog the Do's and Dont's of Life. Since Dont's is really awkward to write and the title isn't very catchy, I decided to change it to what I have now. However, I already had an entry in mind so I thought I would share that with you now. Enjoy :)

DON’T: Forget to read the terms and agreements

I used to think that it was a waste of time to read the Terms and Agreements before I clicked accept when downloading or signing up for a new service or software. However, since working closely with the owner and creator of a new website, and seeing the business side of things, I have realized that there is quite a lot of valuable information that one could be missing by neglecting to read these stipulations. For instance, did you know that whenever you upload or post something to Facebook, that information is no longer yours but rather belongs to Facebook itself? Sure you can untag yourself or even delete your account, but all that information is still out there in cyber space and is no longer yours to remove. Because of this, embarrassing pictures or incriminating comments can keep you from landing a job, especially in this economy when the competition is so cut throat. Employers are hacking into everyone’s social networking sites to have a look around before even considering an interview because of the quantity of applications that come pouring in daily. So although you may think you’re just having a laugh between a few friends of some embarrassing pictures from the weekend, remember that you could be keeping all involved from landing any type of employment.

DO: Remember to have “me” time

Life can get pretty hectic, leaving us with little time for leisure. However, it is important to set aside some time for yourself. Whether it is taking up a hobby like pottery, going for a long walk on the beach, or just lounging around writing random thoughts you have, “me time” can really help you sort through your emotions and keep your stress levels down. Personally, I like to spend my “me time” writing down my thoughts, cooking, or going for a long walk by myself. Others spend their “me time” taking a class at a local community college, riding their motorcycle up the coast, or exercising.  As it is “me time” it really is up to you to decide what activity to partake in. However, remember that the more secluded you are from other “outside noise,” the more beneficial your personal time will be. For ideas, you can check out websites such as http://www.discoverahobby.com/. Just follow your heart and do whatever makes you happy!!

 

Be sure to check in next week for more Random Thoughts from the Shower! This is KRS signing off J 

Allow me to introduce myself

Yesterday while getting ready for work I found myself contemplating life in the shower. The floodgates opened and my mind was filled with many life lessons that I have learned through my 22 years of existence. I have really wanted to create a blog but hadn't found a topic I felt I could write about on a weekly basis. So when this came to mind, I decided it would be perfect! While I realize that my title could be taken the wrong way and thought to be about something a bit more provocative, who am I to discourage those potentially perverted minds from taking a gander at my random thoughts? Sorry to disappoint you, but this is not one of "those" types of blogs. 

So now we find ourselves here, you reading and me writing "Random Thoughts from the Shower." Although some will be of the more serious persuasion, I intend to include more lighthearted topics as well. I will try to mix it up, keep things interesting, and maybe even have some "celebrity" writers post a few of their thoughts from time to time. So get excited and be sure to keep up!!

Be sure to check in next week for more Random Thoughts from the Shower! This is KRS signing off J